mind numbing

i love being a stay at home mom. i hate that title but love the job. i actually love it way more than i thought i would. i love the rhythm of my days. i love having days when i stay in my pjs all morning and fold laundry and drink 3 cups of coffee. i love seeing every new smile, new step, new phrase that my children learn. i love knowing what maggie means when she says something obscure but i know she is referring to something a friend said or some little bug that she dug up.
i also love cooking every night and tucking the kids in bed and reading or watching online tv. every day i am surprised about how much i love being a 'home-body.'
but this is also what surprised me- this life, this life that i love-its mind numbing!
there are parts of my brain that havent been stretched or seen a fire in their synapse all year. when mojo begins to talk theology at dinner my eyes glaze over. its just too hard to follow! {although i will admit, that happened before i became a stay at home mom}
i miss being engaged with life around me. pouring my life into something else besides my home. we are better people when we take care of ourselves. sleep, exercise, eating right, etc. but that also is true of taking care of the gifts God has given us. if we dont use our gifts, they slowly begin to eat away at us. Ravi Zacharis says something like, "if you ignore the gifts then the gifts will turn to bitterness."
so a few weeks ago i decided to start volunteering! i am currently filling out the {massive amounts} of paperwork for the job. there are quizzes to take and training to be had. but i am moving forward and am already filled with new energy and new excitement!
i am going to be volunteering at a hospice.... and hear me when i say, i definitely don't feel like i am gifted or have any wisdom at all to give to those that are dying. but i do know that i have been gifted with listening skills and a willingness to sometimes go into dark places with people. and quite frankly, i want to learn how to help people grieve.
i am always telling mojo that if a counselor or pastor knows how to love people and families well in the midst of the hardest life 'transitions' then that person really knows how to minister God's grace.
and i am really excited about that. i will be visiting with people that are dying and helping them "tell the story of their life"-to help them feel ready for the next phase. and i will also be counseling families in grief.
here is something i already learned in my training:
"the term hospice has its roots in the word hospitality. during the middle ages a hospice was a way station, a place for travelers to stop and rest, much like today's bed and breakfast. often religious orders established hospices at primary travel intersections so that persons on their way to religious shrines could find shelter. many times these persons were very ill and were traveling to the religious shrine in hopes of a miraculous cure. so by default, these early hospices often cared for the terminally ill."