they dont call it labor for nothin'

****disclaimer****may be unsuitable for men or women who want to believe childbirth is easy*****

So i've been thinking about labor alot lately, obviously. one day away from the due date and the excitement is mounting! before i talk about labor let me say a few things about pregnancy. despite what my husband has been hearing lately about aches, pains, and the like...I LOVE being pregnant. I really think it suits me. I think it is an honor and a privilege to get to be a vessel in which God's hands do a miracle inside you. I love feeling little knees and hands. It is a blessing to get your ribs bruised by a future soccer player, or see a tiny bottom roll under your skin when you talk. It's weird and it reminds you that even with all our advances, we haven't found a better way to make a baby. Everything about it is perfect. It physically prepares you and is a sign of the impending lifetime sacrifices. As your body stretches (sometimes so much you think it will break)-its a physical sign of your life stretching to make room for new life. The aches and pains are only a glimpse of the worry and anxiety over sniffles and coughs that you'll have in the future. God prepares you in this season and its wonderful.

My mantra this week has been this: Labor is the easy part, parenting is the hard part.
This close to the end and its easy to focus on the labor instead of what quickly comes after. I remember the first time I was left alone with Maggie in the hospital (and I didnt even tell Mojo at the time)....my thought was, "oh, yeah, i'm the parent. I guess I should feed her."
But nonetheless, my thoughts have dwelled on labor and preparing for the event to come. And i have a few conclusions about it. First, I am pretty sure everybody that has "blogged" about their labor has had a somewhat pleasant experience. Or there is such joy in the outcome (your baby) that you never write about the experience without a touch of rose colored glasses. This is good except it leaves first time birthers at a disadvantage. Even in my natural birthing book, it glosses over alot. While reading it yesterday I laughed because i came to a sentence that said, " All these things are rare but within normal range."
I am pretty sure they could leave about the rare part, because i qualified for all of them. And when a woman reads that something is rare, she just brushes it off. For instance, its rare but normal for a body to take 12 to 24 hours of labor just to dilate to 4cm. CHECK. It's rare but normal to throw up during labor. CHECK. its rare but normal to get hot and cold flashes during labor. CHECK. its rare but normal to have tremors during transition (read: shake uncontrollably.). CHECK.
Even my child birth educator said things like, you may throw up but its really good for labor b/c it pushes the baby down further. What they dont tell you is, when you are throwing up while simultaneously having a contraction, it possibly is the worst feeling in the world and telling yourself, "this is going to make labor faster" doesnt quite make up for it.
And then when you finally (after 30 hours) get to transition and you start shaking uncontrollably and your fear is reflected in your husbands eyes-it doesnt help to think "pushing is just around the corner"-all your thinking is, "what if i never stop shaking"

Just like most things in life....The reality is, labor comes really easy for some. Like my sweet friend Alice who didnt even realize she had gotten to 10cm by the time she got to the hospital. and for some, it takes a little more work. And thats okay, but i think OBs and educators need to cut out language of what's "normal" or "average" cause the poor girl (me) who ends up on the high end of "within normal range" just feels in the midst of things that perhaps something is wrong....cause everything she read said what was an average labor but forgot to mention what happens when something isnt average.

So to all my friends that are pregnant or Lord willing, will be pregnant in the future:Read your books, prepare yourself, and then realize you may not be "normal."
So this time around, I have no expectations (as much as that is possible)-I believe that all my walking and eating spicy foods and drinking special teas isnt actually doing a darn thing. I believe that he'll come when the Lord has appointed the hour. I believe that i'll probably have a very long labor again and if perchance i don't, I'll blog about that too.
I believe that women in Africa have to work all day in the fields and then labor-all I have to do is the labor part-thats not so bad right? I believe that if Eve saw what her choice would do for women over the millenia she may have given pause to that apple. I believe that in the midst of labor its almost impossible to focus on the end so you just have to be present in the pain. I believe that God knew what he was doing in allowing women to give birth so to quote my educator "get out of the way of the uterus and let it do its job." And i believe my husband when he says, "one way or another he's coming out." hallelujah.